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Tuesday, 13 January 2009

YOGA

I've started yoga! YAY! Forward! To a healthier, happier life! Stress-free days and yoga! Stress control and relaxation. Yoga will be great.

Saturday, 23 August 2008

Uh.. BF issue?

Okay, I don't complain about his music, I ask him to turn it down or put headphones in, and that's it.. I never tell him to turn it off, that I find it annoying. I listen to not even half a song and he tells me to change it or turn it off.
Oh, another thing, he won't massage my feet, which he enjoys doing, because i got a new pair of shoes..o.o Like new shoes how a strong smell that rubs off on to my feet..O.o never noticed anything like that before, but apparent he has super sonic senses, at least when it comes to smelling things on feet. My god! I feel like I can't do anything when he is around. I can't get on the computer, I can't text message people, I can't buy new things, I can't listen to my own fucking music. God, I endure all his shit.. WTF!? Why can't he just endure mine? Seriously.. I love him but this BS.. has to stop. I'm not going to be treated like this. Sure, he asks nicely and all about the music, kind of blunt and on the verge of being rude, but nicely.. But I just ask him to turn it down, not to change the song because the guy is screaming incoherently unless you play really close attention and find a way to seperate the voice and the loud metal music that some how blend together in a nice song, though, the guy screaming in coherently in English, kind of ruins it lol. Seriously, though, do any other girls have this problem? God, he is so picky! "I love you, now turn that song off before I break your speakers." That's what I'm getting from this.. Why can't I just do whatever I want? It's not like I'm flirting with someone else or anything.. It's music..o.o MUSIC and BLOGGING.. and CHATTING and RPGING.. Which I tihnk most 18 year old girls obsessed with certain things, such as manga and reading fantasy novels would do. Still, I don't know why he gets some bent out of shape when I listen to something that isn't metal or modern rock. Hell, the kid listens to ACDC but Kiss is out of the question.

Monday, 18 August 2008

Realization or something like that.

See, I love my boyfriend. I feel sick to my stomach right now, I'm lonely and my boyfriend, who sometimes annoys me is either asleep or suffering with trying to get to sleep like I am. We've had an up and down relationship for awhile now and I think it is my fault. I've been very emotional and pushy lately and I feel terrible. He is wonderful, truly. He is so nice to me and he's smart and witty. Sometimes, I just snap for no reason. Maybe I need to learn to better to control my emotions? He's plans on being a massage therapist and I have too many doubts to choose a career. I love writing and I want to do that for a living but everyone keeps telling me its impossible, everyone except for my boyfriend. I think I need more confidence in myself and if I keep pushing my boyfriend away I will lose the only person who makes me feel like I should love myself. I'm not sure he knows that I feel this way, but I don't know how to go about it anymore. I'm afraid that I'll just push him away and I'd hate myself forever.
We've been dating for a year now and he's totally adorable and great at everything! I get massages whenever I want them and he's there for me. Maybe this summer was just a rough patch for us. I don't know. I don't know how to react to anything anymore. I just want to make him happy. I've been WAY too emotional lately and I told him I was sorry. He said it was okay but I don't think it is. I think I was being a horrible person! I want to be a lover and a friend to him! Is it hard to do that? I don't know but if it is I'm willing to go for it any way.
I need to talk to him. I need to control these emotions. Every time around this time of year I keep strange, emotional.. I'm not sure why. Should I see someone about it? I'll just talk to my boyfriend about it. I'm sure he'll help me.
The sad thing is, I'm questioning myself when I know I should have more confidence and stop it. I'm passionate but easily confused. Does that make sense? Well, I'll talk to my boyfriend.

Also, I question myself about my writing. I need motivation to keep me on track and I need to finish a story. I don't know what to do. It's so irritating. Maybe once I start taking Creative Writing course I'll feel better about my writing. Meh, that's just a side note to my crazy thoughts for the moment.
Random Kiss Scene by B-chan!

A tingly sensation surged through her as their lips met. Her eyes close gently, as if she were dreaming. She shivered and felt her cheeks blush as she reached her arms around the other person. Her knees weakened and her heart skipped more than just a beat. The moon above illuminated their figures and seemed to set the scene on fire. Forever seemed to pass, their lips locked in an eternal caress.
Suddenly, her eyes opened and she saw the sun creep in to her room. She let out a pained sigh. It was a dream, a simple dream that would never be fulfilled. She crawled out of bed and managed to stand on the floor. It was a wonderful dream though, but let her feeling empty every time she had it or thought about it. Such a kiss would be too beautiful. She would surely cry!